#76 Children of the Corn

posted in: Episodes, Season 3 | 0

Out-of-context quote from this episode: “Malakhi’s mouth is basically that of a baleen whale.”

An R-rated movie that’s not nearly violent enough, The smartest thing you can do to eradicate adults is poison all the coffee in the town, surprise blood splatter, Linda Hamilton has a birthday proboscis, secret smoking and Chekhov’s lighter, ice cream for dinner and no tooth brushing, mysterious uses for corn, the struggle of roadtripping in the pre-digital music era, a sincere lack of Mad Libs, the kids take over and then take away all the fun, a top-tier dummy accident, Job and Sarah put on costumes to play board games, confusing signs for Gatlin, stopping in the town from Resident Evil, Linda Hamilton as corn Jesus, Tripp apologizes for not knowing Terminator and Children of the Corn both came out in 1984, neither of us is afraid of teenagers, Tripp thinks he can defeat a dozen 10-year-olds, extras don’t get enough into their “Kill!” chants, Andrew gets put on a watch list because he wants more child murdering, Malakhi vores Linda Hamilton with his baleen whale, kids are conjuring clothing out of nothing, and Linda Hamilton totally knocks out a kid with a car door.

All this and more!

“NewsSting, Ouroboros” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/